Turns out the job Ms. Chicken has been chasing is in….Brussels. Now nothing
against the fine folks of Brussels but that was, initially, more than a bit
d...
10 years ago
Monday, December 8, 2008
Thoughts on Open vs. Anonymous Donor?
What are your thoughts on using an open donor vs. anonymous donor? Or vice versa? Has anyone signed up for sibling registry? The one at the cryobank is still under construction but I read there is a national registry that costs to join. Anyone familiar with it?
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4 comments:
For me and my partner, an open donor was really important to us. We wanted our child to have the option of locating the donor someday if she wants to meet him or know more about him. This was especially important because my other two children are adopted and we have an open adoption. Even though their birth parents are no longer together and we live far from both of them, I know how to get ahold of them, I have pictures of them, I know some of their extended family, etc. Since my older two have the option and ability to find out more about their history if they so chose to in the future, I wanted my youngest daughter to have similar options available to her. As for sibling registry, I have not joined yet but probably will. I know for sure my donor already had a son he was parenting when he became a donor, so there is at least one half sibling out there.
I would have preferred an open donor. I would have liked for my (future) child to have had the option of meeting their biological father if they chose to do so.
However, the donor we chose is currently listed as anonymous.
My partner & I are a biracial couple (Me hispanic, her AA). Since I will be carrying the baby, we picked an AA donor. We also wanted a CMV neg donor. At this point the gene pool got very limited! In fact, I don't think there were any AA / CMV neg donors listed as open.
I am hoping that in 18-20 years, perhaps our donor may change his mind and consider meeting some of his biological offspring... we'll keep our fingers crossed.
Additionally, I have never known my father. I am not even sure who my father is. Except for a few teen years, I have never felt the burning desire to find out who he is. My partner has tried to talk me into pursuing it, but I have never felt the need. Hopefully our child will feel loved enough that he/she will not have a void in their life by not knowing.
Well, my partner and I chose an anonymous donor. An open donor was never really on our priority list. I mean, should our child ever want to meet the donor, they can still try. Maybe by then he will have changed his mind. In the end, we are not really worried about this issue. Overall, we are very happy with our donor and he pretty much fulfilled all our requirements.
I guess we are old timers. When we started this process in 2004, CCB didn't offer Open donors. We used an anonymous donor that at the time already had reported pregnancies. We joined the old sibling registry before they changed the site, and found quite a few parents with half siblings for our daughters. We also did pay for the registry at www.donorsiblingregistry.org , but that cost only lasts for 1 year and then you must pay again. I also found quite a few parents on there as well. I have emailed many back and forth, but we are very close to one family in California that we actually talk to on the phone, send gifts, pictures etc. our donor has about 17 or so children. And that is the ones that have posted!
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